When you begin the adventures of online dating, there are a lot of things that you will want to do to make sure that you get as much as you can from the experience. The more that you put into online dating, the more that you will get out of it. When you are getting into online dating you will want to make sure that you do everything that you can to make it a safe experience. If you don’t put enough information out there then you will have a hard time meeting people. However, if you put too much information out there then you can be jeopardizing your safety. It is important for you to learn where to draw that fine line.

You will need to make your profile stand out from the crowd. Make sure you have a good picture; many people ignore profiles without pictures. Any other content that can make your profile stand out, such as audio and video, may be worthwhile additions to your profile. Your profile should be spell-checked, free of grammatical errors, and proof-read. As a minimum, write it using a word processor; there is an excellent one called Open Office available for free if you don’t have Word. You can then check the profile for spelling and grammar errors. There are plenty of profiles that contain spelling and grammatical errors; they instantly turn people off. You will want to write at least a couple of hundred words about yourself, and a little bit about what you are looking for. Do you have any hobbies? These should be detailed on your profile, especially anything unusual. Your profile should be truthful. It should be written in a light-hearted manner and should appeal to people with a good sense of humour. Ask a friend, preferably one of the sex to which you wish to appeal and whom you have never been involved with, if, having read what you’ve written, they would be interested in you. Ask them to be critical. There is no point in them just telling you what you want to hear; that won’t help you.

If you are using paid online dating sites, many of these list people’s profiles for free. Some people using these sites will not have paid a subscription fee. The effects of this can vary from them not being able to read any messages that are sent to them; not having the ability to respond to messages; or being able to send “canned” responses only. There could be a high proportion of these “free” profiles on the site, so you won’t necessarily receive a reply to most of the introductory messages that you send out. Some of the profiles may not even be live any longer; online dating services have been known to keep published profiles of people who are no longer looking for dates to increase the numbers of profiles that are live on their sites. Conversely, on free dating sites, the profiles tend to be of lower quality to start with, and it might be the case that a lower percentage of profile owners are serious about dating.

Lastly, don’t simply send the same introduction to everybody to whom you send mail. Make sure the mail you send is personalised, and proves that you have read the profile of the person you are mailing. This will encourage a much greater response rate.

You do not want to expect too much, especially since those last four dates with four different girls did not go so well. Who are we kidding? They were unmitigated disasters. One ended in a pretty nasty argument after a minor misunderstanding. The other two were filled with so much awkward silences that you started to think that you were in a library that was holding church services. And of course you cannot really count the last since after making all the arrangements she did not bother to show up. When you tried to call the phone was disconnected. Even the operator had a bad feeling about that one.

But it looks like all systems are go. In fact there she is now. Now you do not have any control over what she may say or do, so the person to really keep in eye on is you. Part one and two are taken care of, i.e., you have arrived promptly and groomed yourself to the hilt. Now comes game time.

1. Where’s the gift?

That is a nice way to get the date started on the right foot. In your many online chats with her you should have a sense about what kind of things she likes. Unless you have the bucks stay away from anything extravagant. Remember you just met. Yes you want to impress her but being overly generous might cause her to think you are trying to buy a date not woo her with your natural personality and charm. With most women little things given from the heart mean a lot.

2. Gee she looks swell

The old fashioned compliments can work wonders. Let her know you appreciate her efforts by complimenting her clothes or hairstyle. Be sincere. Not only is it proper but also because women seem to have built in detectors that let them know when we are being phony. No need to go overboard with it. A genuine smile periodically throughout the evening without saying a word will make the point quite nicely.

3. Talk to me

This has been the make or break point in many dates. Failing to come prepared with good conversation will find you right back at the computer looking for another potential date. Keep in mind some of the things you both talked about in your online chat. Add to your conversation arsenal by staying informed on various current events.

The key to this is to listen as much as you talk. Ask questions and get her opinion. Avoid conversation hogging or slapping down her attempts to contribute to the discussions. Nothing spells jerk like going on a date and falling in love with the sound of your own voice.

4. The Gentleman

Every woman wants to be treated like a lady especially on a date, so mind your manners. Open the car and/or restaurant door for her. Pay for the evening out on the town. If she wants to go dutch, be the gentleman and accept. Some women particularly on a first date do not want to be obligated in any way. That is understandable so do not force the issue. Also as a gentleman focus on her and not whatever woman comes into your line of vision. Remember they did not agree to go out with you; she did so let her know that right now she is the central woman in your life. Again you have no control over the other person so concentrate on what you can do. Bring a gift and compliments without over doing it. Come prepared with good conversation and be a gentleman. Is she the right one? That is going to be pretty hard to tell after one date but utilizing these tips will almost guarantee a second one and a chance to connect more deeply.